Christmas Day

Christmas morning was all about the H. We set out four vehicles on the coffee table and watched as he sucked in his breath with happiness. I wish I could capture a smile from him on film - a task that is proving to be near impossible. He LOVES buses, fire engines, ambulances, and tractors - and we were lucky enough to find these online.

Then he opened his magnetic letters for the fridge.....they were a perfect companion to the magnetic animals that Nanna and Grumpa sent (those were opened several days before Christmas due to one afternoon when I was losing it and needed a new toy for entertainment)

A book from Nanna and Grumpa........he loves it - it's all about animals....

An airplane from Daddy.......

and he was happy as could be!

After we opened gifts and got ready for the day - we attempted to go down to Kim and Tim's house to spend Christmas day. We got about 15 minutes into the one hour drive and had to turn around. The freeways were covered in snow and it was almost a complete white-out. When we left it was clear at our house - how quickly things change.

Once we made it home (to clear skies) we all took a long nap - and attempted the drive once again once the storm had passed completely. The boys had a wonderful time together - playing with their new toys and in Harrison's case, going up and down the stairs a gazillion times (his newest triumph!).

Harrison strutting his stuff..... and cute cute Alex showing off......

Aunt Jenn flew in from Chicago and the boys monopolized all her time! Jackson wanted to make sure she LOVED his new Spiderman slippers!

Harrison is in heaven when we are there, so many new toys! Alex LOVES the Woody doll!

We didn't end up leaving until late into the night - and when we walked outside snow had begun to fall and the roads were beginning to be dusted with snow. As we continued to drive - it became a total white-out with snow swirling and blowing all over the place. Visibility was just a few feet - and I was terrified. Jordan put up with my backseat driving and two and a half hours later we were home safe. Have I mentioned before that I miss California?

Here is the aftermath of the storm the next morning - I think 15 inches fell in all. Lovely.

Jordan put on all his snow gear and began the hour long process of shoveling out our corner lot. Although snow is freezing and puts a damper on getting out of the house - I love how quiet it makes everything - I guess I should be thankful for a white Christmas!

Harrison spent the day climbing up and down the newest addition to our kitchen - my stepladder! He loves it just as much as I do! (it's tough being 5'1")

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve is my FAVORITE day of the year. Growing up it was always so special at the Clason house - something I will try to continue to do in my own home with my family. Since we stayed in Salt Lake and Emily and Tim were here also - we decided to spend the evening together.

The night began with an absolutely genius idea by Tim - get together a couple of hours before the kids' bedtime, feed them their dinner, open their present from each other, attempt a nativity, and then put them down so the parents could enjoy a leisurely, calm, delicious dinner. Why had I not thought of this?

So the evening went as follows.......

Claire was thrilled beyond words that Christmas is finally here....

Then Harrison and Claire had some evening milk.......

Next Joseph (Harrison) and Mary (Claire) got all dressed up and rode the donkey into Bethlehem.....yes Joseph AND Mary both rode in our version of the story all the while snacking on some sweet potato puffs dressed in a bath towel and little red riding hood cape.........

And as the costumes came off.....Harrison read Claire the Christmas story and she found it a little funny...

Then on to presents - puzzles, a little people nativity, and a bulldozer.....



And finally, Christmas jammies!

After the kids were sound asleep we had a wonderful dinner - ham, mashed potatoes, salad, rolls, and pie - followed by Jimmy Stewart in It's a Wonderful Life. By 10pm we were all exhausted and falling asleep so we headed home for our first Christmas in our new home.

Once Harrison was down, Jordan and I exchanged gifts in front of the tree. I loved it. Neither of us stuck to the budget we had set - but hey, what girl doesn't want one of these?

The Lights at Temple Square

Bundled very tight - we went to see the lights on Temple Square with Emily, Tim and Claire. The kids did really well - even though it was FREEZING - and we had a wonderful time. I love Christmas - you can't help but feel good. I love it.

A sad experience......

The past six weeks have been an emotional roller coaster for me - and I am not sure I really know how to feel even now. I lost my baby - at 8 weeks along. I know I didn't know the sex of the baby, and we didn't have a name - but I was just far enough along that I was really getting excited. I was starting to imagine life with a sibling for Harrison, what we would need to do to the house to get ready for him/her, and even discussed some names.

On November 10th, something just didn't feel right. I got out my pregnancy book and realized the symptoms I was experiencing made a call to my doctor urgent. I went in that afternoon - and a heartbeat couldn't be found. Because it was after hours and the radiology department had already gone home and turned off a high-powered ultrasound machine - I had to wait until Monday to come back in for a follow-up appointment.

At that appointment - the technician took what seemed like a million pictures - and didn't say much. I knew. I knew we wouldn't see a heartbeat - and I started to cry. Jordan was there holding my hand - I knew he was devastated too. He is such a wonderful father to Harrison - and was so excited to have another little one in our home.

The doctor gave me some medicine to take to speed the process of emptying the uterus, but by the time I got home the pain and bleeding had begun. I had no idea it would be so painful. It felt exactly like labor except the pain was constant (no relief between contractions like labor). It was scary. The bleeding was so incredibly heavy - at times I actually feared something was terribly wrong. The pain lessened during the night - but began again full force in the morning. The day was long and miserable - but once again at night I was able to sleep. The next morning - the same thing. Pain so severe I could do nothing but curl up on my bed and cry. By that evening the majority of the pain was gone - but I continued to bleed for two more weeks.

By thanksgiving everything seemed to be over - but I was having strange pains. Not cramps - something different. I went in to the doctor after we got home from Rexburg - and the ultrasound showed that there was still tissue in my uterus that needed to come out. Because I hadn't taken the pills the first time because the miscarriage started on its own - I still had them at home.

As I drove home I couldn't hold back the tears. I don't think they were from thinking about losing the baby but rather from thinking about the process and going through it all again. I was so scared to have the pain again. I have had friends tell me about miscarriages before - and they didn't even know they had one, or that it was painless, or minimal pain. I obviously had a VERY different experience than they did - and I was terrified to do it again.

The bleeding began again the next day - with only a fraction of the pain - and lasted for another two weeks. So, after six weeks, I can finally say that this experience is finally over. I have cried so many tears, and thought too many times about the little one that I will not get to raise here on earth, and my heart is heavy. It makes me hesitant to try to have another baby - but I know I want to - I am just scared. Through it all I just had to keep reminding myself of what a blessing Harrison is in my life. I know there are many women in the world who cannot have children, or who have had multiple miscarriages - and I am blessed to have had him - even if for some reason he is the only one I ever have. Jordan has been wonderful through all of this - I know he is just as sad as I am. He is so very supportive and loving - I really can't imagine a better husband - what a blessing he is in my life at this time of heartache.

A day that did NOT put me in the Christmas Spirit....

A to-do list a mile long and blizzard-like conditions raging out the front door do not make for a very enjoyable Thursday.

I thought surely the snow would quit by 10am. Then I thought it certainly couldn't last through lunch.

By 2pm I was digging out my car, shoveling my never ending driveway and saying a little silent prayer that my Harrison would be up for the afternoon ahead.

A trip to the photo place, back home to finish the Christmas cards (if you don't think I have your address - email it to me annehowe24@gmail.com), a long line at the post office, holiday traffic downtown, and finally to the mall.

Children (well maybe just mine - all the others seemed to be doing just fine) and malls=disaster.

Whining, arching of the back, begging for cookies, not eating the cookies, etc. etc. etc.

Driving home, missed my exit, lots of ice, toddler screaming 'JUICE' over and over and over and over and over.......

Then silence.

A glance in the rear-view mirror just in time to see incredible amounts of vomit spewing forth. As I try to stop on a snow/ice covered road, my car is slipping, round two of vomit is spraying, toddler is choking and crying, and I am overwhelmed at the smell - and almost lose it myself.

I jump out of the car, throw open the back door, use about 10 gajillion wipes to throw handfuls of yuck onto the snow, strip the child down to his not-so-white-saoked-onesie, clean up the best I can and drive home thinking I might be reported for having a soaking wet half naked screaming baby in the back seat of my car - after all it is 25 degress outside....

All the barf covered clothes were thrown onto the front lawn (which is covered in 8 inches of snow) and the soaking wet babe was put right into the tub.

A full sesame street episode later and a little milk - the babe is fast asleep, the car seat has been hosed down in the sink and I am listening to the washing machine swish away all the remains of the day that were frozen solid onto the clothes, realizing that I smell like a toxic mix of vomit and Clorox - and I have a headache.

I guess my list of to-do's will have to wait for another day.

18 Months

............................Height: 33 inches...............................
............................Weight: 28 lbs 9 oz............................
............................Head: really big.................................


............................Someone likes to eat...........................

Meeting Santa....

On his 18 month birthday, one little boy didn't quite know what to think
of the bearded man and his wife dressed head to toe in red and white........

Then his daddy told him the tale of Santa Claus and held him tight....

but before he met Santa, he had to tell Mrs. Claus all about
his beloved Elmo and Cookie Monster.....

and finally all was well.

Haircut

Although I LOVE LOVE LOVE the curls - my little guy needed a little trim.

His bangs were hanging in his eyes and the curls turned into a hot mess
10 minutes after being combed.

So I asked him what he thought...

and into the tub he went. I watched my mom cut my nephew's hair this way -
and it is genius. They are distracted by toys and you just snip away.

The curls are still there - just a little less mullet.